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Random Rune Messages

I just wrote this out, half in a stupor, so I have no idea if it makes sense, but I needed a place to write this down before I forgot it all. I feel that some was already lost just in the waking process, hence the urgency to preserve. These things fade so quickly that it's important to stay awake & record them immediately or they evaporate like morning wisps, only to return unheeded to the waters of the Collective pools.
I had a dream where I was being shown the differences between certain rune meanings in concept form, by situations unfolding in the dream sequence. (I wasn't aware of the "download" nature of this until I woke up.) But these concepts equate to the understanding of those from the ancient Nordic culture far more than they do to our current, modern one... which is why the true concepts need to be taught in dream form rather than from a book or website. Words have different meanings now & language can be misinterpreted, manipulated & misleading. We don't always "get it" from the written word form.
The things that we have that no one can steal from us in the snatch-and-go sense of the word, such as our culture, our heritage, lordships, titles, or.. in a word, endowments, are represented by Othala. They can be taken from us in our modern culture, but it's a different kind of process than thievery. Even then, in the ancient world, these things could have been stolen but it would have required acts that breach integrity like murder, subterfuge & usurping. Othala is in Tyr's aett & therefore deals with matters of integrity.
The items we have that can be pilfered from us through thievery, robbing, raiding or sacking, like jewelry, cattle, tools, grain, crops, food, and even "virtue" (ie the concept of the maidenhead or "virginity") are represented by Fehu. These belong to the aett of Freyr & refer to very material items or possessions.

In ancient times, the "untouched" body was an entirely different concept than the fierceness or independence of the "untouched" spirit. A Virgin, at one time, was a woman of unbroken spirit who didn't need the protection of a man. Neither did she need to serve him nor be controlled by him, though she most certainly may have been sexually active if she chose to be.
Eventually the word Virgin morphed into meaning a woman who had not had sex or "been ridden" by a man. These two concepts are practically opposite from each other. While the maidenhead is, in that sense, a material possession & can be stolen by a bandit or marauder, strength of spirit can only be stolen by being humiliated or demoralized.
Certainly, a rape can be demoralizing & therefore there is a distinction between forceful sex and consensual. This now becomes more a concept of the aett of Heimdall. The things that belong to Heimdall's aett & refer to the Self as an "Id"; who we are, our sense of pride, ideals, perspectives, confidence, dreams (ie goals) etc, are represented by the Yew Tree or Eihwaz.
I was completely ignorant of this concept & I am very grateful for lessons taught through dream work.

Embrace the Shadows

Recently I was presented with a meme that read: "We all need to look into the dark side of our nature… That's where the passion is.. the energy.. It is part of who we are…do not fear it… embrace it. Become whole…We are both darkness and light….."

I was then asked to reflect on this and respond. Here are my thoughts on the subject. I thought that they might help give perspective to your experience.

The Dark Side of spirituality is not a negative thing at all. Nor is it something to be feared, but rather embraced and appreciated for what it truly is. We are not talking about something that harms others because in truth, even "white magick" can harm others when it comes in the form of meddling. We are simply talking about the realm of shadows.

We have been programmed to believe that White is Light and Light is good, and that Black is Dark and Dark is bad. We have been taught to fear the Darkness and in that space, we feel dread. This, of course, from the same paradigm that taught us that Masculine is good and Feminine is bad. For a moment, let's forget the whole good/bad thing and let's look at positive and negative as two sides of a magnet. One side repels and one side attracts. Neither is necessarily good or bad. It all depends on what it is you are trying to accomplish. The same is true for Light and Dark energy work.

Yin and Yang are two sides of the energy forces of the Universe, in perfect balance, as Dark and Light respectively. What you may not have considered is that "White" represents the physical plane and masculine energy. This is both the creative and destructive forces of nature. This is the Overworld, the plane of solid matter, of manifestations and intellect. It is the time of the Oak King's reign, long hours of daylight and the agricultural growing season.

To bring all of that in to balance, we have the feminine aspect of the Universe. While "black" is often considered "dark" or "evil", is that really true? Black is symbolic of all that is feminine. It's the place of Wisdom and intuition, as opposed to knowledge and cunning. It is the plane of nurturing, rather than creating or destroying. It's the reign of the Holly King, the time of longer nights and of restfulness. It's the time of creativity and creation. It's the time for lovers and passion in the dark, for conceptions and incubation. Most seeds won't sprout unless they are kept in darkness, even if it is the light that helps them proliferate. Darkness is the Underworld, the plane of dreams, of shadows, of hidden fears and that is where healing lies.

What's that you say? Fears are bad? Are they truly? Where would you find courage and bravery, were it not for fear? I would have to agree that much of our energy and passions come from the dark side of things. Not all of it to be sure, but more than most people realize. What would motivate us to make changes, were it not for dissatisfaction? What would cause us to burst forth with new growth, were it not for oppression or constriction? When our minds begin to reel round and round while facing dilemmas, it is our subconscious that help us unravel our feelings and get to our truth in our dream state. It is only by truly knowing and understanding the dark realms and shadowy places that our light can grow. Blessed Be.

Dreadlocks and Cultural Appropriation

After much time, meditation and deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that dreadlocks are not solely an African thing. They are not solely a Jamaican revolution thing. They are not solely a Tibetan monk thing. And they are not solely a high-cost, high-maintenance, hand-woven, salon-kept fashion statement.

Yes, they are those things for some people...and there is nothing wrong with any of that if that is the path you choose... but they can also be so much more. For some of us, locked hair is a spiritual journey that teaches us how to break out of conformity. It teach us how to accept ourselves as we truly are in our primal nature, as opposed to how the media and "world at large" tells us that we *should be*. Locked hair, particularly when formed by the neglect method, teaches us to embrace our true selves, our wild side and our authentic inner nature. It frees us from tons of mainstream "product" and chemicals, bringing us to a purer version of ourselves.

You may not get it.. and that's OK. Don't kid yourself tho'. This is not an easy journey, especially because we are met with so much opposition and so much misrepresentation when we choose to walk this path. It is an inner journey that ultimately brings us to our true selves.

"White dreads" are not about “cultural appropriation”. I am firmly convicted of this. Locked hair was prevalent in ancient Assyria, India, North America, South America and even in the shamanic cultures of Siberia. In fact, before the invention of brushes and combs, everyone had matted or locked hair. Do your research. Open your mind. Allow for the integration of spirituality in all walks of life. No one "owns" a hair style. Spiritual paths belong to no single culture. Free your mind and embrace the Unity of our global brother and sisterhood.

**************************************

I want to say here that in no way, shape or form, did I ever intend this post to be angry, antagonistic or offensive. I am not a racist person and I don't need to call people out on anything that others think, say or do. Neither will I lump ALL people of any given color / race / nationality in to one group. That is not fair to any one. I am only dealing with what was said to ME directly.

I had at least 2 people tell me that they feel that white people wearing locked hair is "cultural appropriation". One of these people is of mixed heritage and has been a dear friend to me for many years, tho in more recent years, race issues have caused divisions. She felt that it was important for me to understand that black people are uncomfortable when white people take from them what they worked so hard to attain as their own.

I gave this serious consideration and was open to what she had to say but now I am drawing my own conclusions, as is appropriate. I can understand and respect how others feel but I am more of a Unitarian/ global/ open kind of person & I believe that we ALL wear our hair in our own unique way. How I wear my locks has nothing to do with how any one else wears theirs. I believe that the lighting of one candle does not diminish the flame of the other. I believe that we can all be our own unique, individual person without taking any thing away from any one else. Period. It's all about the intention and I intend no harm.

The other person to accuse me of "cultural appropriation" is my own flesh and blood and shares my blood line. I am of mixed heritage. I am Cherokee, Choctaw and Italian (with ancestors from both mainland Italy <Foggia> and Sicily). And yet, when I went to a dermatologist / skin specialist, his "expert opinion" was that my skin tone is likely inherited from Northern Europe because (in his words) "Vikings invaded Italy too". It is well known that Vikings explored North America and that the "white Indian" tribes are interbred with Norsemen. So there you go.

I am not from any single culture and don't try to own any one way or path. I have an eclectic appreciation (and a genuine love) for a wide variety of peoples. I did a lot of research on locked hair before I opted to wear my hair this way because I wanted to know what the significance was, what the spiritual and cultural implications would be, before I started. And here is what I found (if you are still with me then you probably actually give a damn about what I am saying here so I will give you the full story).

Mystics of all cultures understand that hair is an extension of the body. Specifically at the crown of the head, the hair that grows there is an extension of the spinal column. With long hair, comes increased spiritual energy and power. This is true whether you are African, Jamaican (who are a mixed people and not truly African), Chinese, Native American, Vedic, Jewish or Scandinavian. Hair is power. “It is known.”

And, spirals are known to hold and channel energy. Therefore, long, spiraled hair increases the channeled spiritual energy in to and out of the body. This is a spiritual consideration for me because I am a high end Empath. This has impact on my life and is relevant.

What I said earlier about the journey in to the Self is also true. When you look in to a mirror and you see your own reflection staring back at you, the locked hair becomes about YOU... not about someone else’s culture. I must learn to accept myself as I am. I must learn to not pass judgment on my SELF... which is admittedly harder to do when people are casting their derision and negativity all about the place... but this is what makes it an inner spiritual journey and it is perhaps exactly that, that has helped me rise above and become all the stronger as an individual.

I will not change who I am for someone else. I will not spew judgment at others just because they direct theirs' at me. I will not back down. I will not go quietly. I will not go gentle in to that good night. If you love me for who I am, then my hair style should not matter to you. If you love me for way that I treat others, for the way that I care and for the way that give... then why in hell would the style, color or length of my hair make any difference to you? And if you don't love me or even know me, then why should your opinion even matter to me? Enough said and I am putting this issue to rest.

My Facebook Status For Today

OK folks. It is that time again.

Very, very rarely, do I speak out on any socio-political topics but every so often, comes a time when a person must speak their truth. so here I am. Take it or leave it.

By the way, Facebook says that socio-political cant be a thing... but I beg to differ.

I have seen so many posts lately, some up in arms and some in support of Beyonce. Tell you what.... I didn't watch the Super Bowl. Nor have I seen any videos of what went down. I don't need to.

Short and sweet and to the point, here is my deal:

* I am pro Black

* I am pro White

* I am pro Asian

* I am pro Indigenous Peoples

* I am pro Dread Locks

* I am pro body modification

* I am pro Wolf

* I am pro animal protection

* I am pro Feminine

* I am pro Masculine

* I am pro choice

* I am pro life

* I am pro healing

* I am pro acceptance

* I am pro Christian

* I am pro Pagan

* I am pro Buddhist

* I am pro Christmas

* I am pro Yule/ Solstice

* I am pro GLBT

* I am pro heterosexual

* I am pro Oneness

* I am pro Individuality

* I am pro any one who needs to speak out

* I am pro any one who prefers to just observe and keep quiet.

And so much more.

So, how can all of that exist inside one individual without conflict? Simple. One thing that I am NOT *pro* is hatred. I am also NOT for the Supremacy of any one type/genre/gender/culture/religion over any other. And I don't feel the need to promote fear-based propaganda.

These are not conflicted ideas. Nor are they two-faced. In fact, they are about as raw and honest as it gets because NONE of these concepts are in any way mutually exclusive. To me, this is freeing and empowering. To me, this is simply "pro peace" and "pro love".

Don't like my points of view? Feel free to comment and tell me what you feel. Just respect my right to feel the way that I do. If you cant do that, please feel free to unfriend me.

I wish you nothing but love, light, grace, beauty, healing and forgiveness as you walk your path.

Forgetfulness and Bliss

Today, a friend said: "Its so strange that it does boggle my mind how we go through so much stress in our lives, deal with the sickness, sorrows, deaths, and forgetfulness, and how we still are able to keep going and shrug it off like it was just water on our skin."

I thought: "Funny you should mention forgetfulness."
Over a decade ago, I watched my mother sink in to the depths of dementia and Alzheimer's disease. It was a horrible thing to see... to mourn the passing of a woman whose body was still alive, because her mind, heart and soul were being consumed by something we could not stop and she became someone I could not recognize. Nor could she recognize me. My husband experienced much the same with his grandmother, who was more like a mother to him, and one of the only women to have ever shown him true love and kindness, until he met me.

What could possibly cause something that horrible to happen to a person? Read on and you may understand.

I would say that it is a pretty safe bet that each one of us here have seen our fair share (or more than, perhaps), of stress, sickness, sorrow, death and so forth. I would even venture to add terror and abuse to the list of horrors on our resumes. And I don't know that we just automatically shrug these things off and forget them. I think we hold on to them all, but first we disguise them as feelings and then create judgments about them.

Some of us have addictive personalities and all that we have experienced, has cause us to delve in to the land of forgetfulness with "medication", either prescribed or otherwise, or we have shoved things that we would rather not think about, deep down in to the heart of our Selves. But did we ever really forget? I think not.

According to an author by the name of Karol Truman, who wrote Feelings Buried Alive Never Die!, we don't ever forget. In fact, we can pick up thoughts, ideas and judgments from as early as the womb. How? We hear our parents interacting with their environment. While we may not understand words just yet, the experiences of our parents translate in to feelings for our mothers. And because each new born baby is made up of the blood and flesh of his or her mother, we are literally still part of her body, until the day of birth arrives and we become separated (but not to the degree that some of us might think). So in that precious time of shaping and forming in the womb, we are literally part of her. And therefore, her feelings are our feelings.

Once born, we spend our time cradled in the arms of the people around us (or not). They may be our parents, grand parents, siblings, neighbors, aunts, uncles and cousins, or, depending on our experience, total strangers.

But as they hold us, the feelings that they share with us become ours as well, through a phenomenon called emotional contagion. Then as we grow, we hear things that translate in to judgments. And those judgments reinforce feelings. On and on this goes until we are adults. At which point, we have feelings, attached to judgments, that we didn't ever even consciously process. In fact, we don't even know that we have them. Nor can we explain them. And yet, we don't ever forget them.

As we go on to interact with other people in our lives, we create (and yes, WE do literally create) situations. And when those feelings run deep enough, they trigger responses in us that cause us to act or RE-act in a certain way. That way may be positive but very often it is not. And what happens? We create new judgments and feelings or we reinforce the old ones. And we repress them too and bury them some more so that one day, seemingly out of a clear blue sky, these feelings explode outwardly in a violently volcanic way, tearing apart our hearts, our feelings, our loved ones and sometimes, our lives.

Eventually, if left unprocessed and untreated, these experiences create more and more trauma that we want to forget, until we literally begin to forget everything that ever was, about our lives. We sink in to alcoholism, addiction, dementia or mental illness. We lose all of who and what we once were. And so do the people who love us.

The solution? Dig deep. Question every judgment until they are conscious choices. Then, with awareness, face every feeling. Bring them out of the darkness and allow yourself to experience them fully before they become toxic. Once experienced, they can be processed and released. And this, is true healing.

On Sympathy and Empathy

A friend of mine posted this video on her wall. I have seen it before and on the surface, it sounds so enlightened and all that, but I had a negative reaction to it and I had to think about why.

In my mind, as a high end Empath, I feel that the difference between sympathy and empathy is very different than what was discussed here. The way that I see it, sympathy is truly understanding and feeling **for** the other person. In other words, if you were truly sympathetic to another person's situation, you would never say, *Hmm... that sucks. Want a sandwich?* You would feel for them and commiserate. In my mind, the critter in this video that offered the sandwich is practicing detachment. 

Empathy... true empathy, is on another scale entirely, in my personal experience. Empathy is **FEELING** the other person's pain, experiencing it within the Self, alongside with the other person. A true, high-end Empath, does not only *feel* the other person, but also draws the pain out of them and suffers it within themselves.

The Empathic Healer / Lightworker draws the pain or negativity in to themselves, experiences it as their own and then heals it, while also channeling the lighter, whiter healing energy in to the person who was suffering to help them heal as well. I have been an Empath my entire life and have walked the healer's path for a decade, so I speak from my own experience. Just my thoughts on this topic for what they are worth.

Here is the video in question. I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments section. Blessed Be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

Broken Spirit

Well... I knew it would happen eventually but it finally happened tonight. Apollo decided to try to jump the fence between my house and my neighbor around the corner. He got over but he was on tether and probably hung himself for a moment, until the fence panels snapped. I heard the fence breaking and he cried out in pain. No one is home at the neighbors house. I went over there and rang the bell. House is dark and no one answered. They have fences and an alarm system. I wasnt about to try to break in.

Hubby had to pull more fence panels off and we had to drag him back through. Apollo resisted as much as he could but I had to drag him by the neck. He is scared and has blood in his mouth so I presume he bit his own tongue. I cant keep doing this to him and I cant watch him every minute of every day and night. I believe that he needs to run free and there is nothing that I can do about it.

Last night, he and I had a beautiful moment together. He sat with me and I pet him and consoled him and gave him healing. He slept by me for a while. And he slept most of the day but tonight, he thought it in his best interest to climb over a fence. It could easily have been the death of him if the fence was any stronger.

I am heart sick about this but I can see that he needs to run free. He needs to be on a preserve with other wolves and I need to make this happen for him as soon as humanly possible. I don't want to give him up. I don't want to send him away. I just want him to be happy. And I need to know that he is in a safe place where he wont hurt himself again or cause more destruction that we cant afford to fix. Please send prayers for him and for me. I dont know what else to do but this.... this is miserable.

Choices

I'm feeling pretty down tonight because I feel as though I've failed Apollo. He is fine, resting in my yard at the end of his tether. For now at any rate. I found out this morning that he can open a lobster claw type latch & free himself at will so I'm hoping that he chooses to stay put.
Yesterday, while off tether, he managed to hop over the short part of our fence & go into my brother's yard next door, to see Diablo, the husky they are fostering. When I attempted to retrieve him, he scaled a 7 foot wooden fence, right in front of me, effectively escaping into the next yard. Did I mention that the yard he likes to play his wolf games in belongs to the mayor of my town? Chyeah.... not good.
I went in that yard a few different times attempting to recapture him but to no avail. I even went in after dark with a flashlight, trying to reason with him. Wolfies don't care much for human reason. In the end, I decided to come home & just wait patiently for him. After a four & a half hour jaunt, he returned, submissive & subdued. He literally laid down on top of his tether & gave me his belly, letting me know that he was ready to rest. As I said, I woke in the morning to find that he can free himself from his tether if he chooses to. He was literally standing in my living room, looking around for the cat.
This evening, he jumped over into my brother's yard again. That is when I decided to write to the people at the local dog rescue who technically own him right now. I made a recommendation that, because of his relatively high wolf content & inborn need to roam, he be relocated to a wolf dog preserve.
Yeah... I feel like I have failed him. I clearly can't contain him. I healed. Removed ticks from him. Nursed to health & kept him company. I've given up a dozen nights of sleep. I've connected with him & watched him bond with Lavender. But I will never be able to contain him. I can't afford to feed him. And I'm profoundly tired.
Sure, he has come home again & has allowed me to re-tether him. But I can't guarantee his safety if I can't contain him. I can't guarantee that he won't chase or fight with other animals or get a female pregnant. And I can't guarantee that my girls won't try to run with him. I stand by my decision & believe it to be the right one.
So why do I feel so shitty about it?

Buzz Words

I thought that I had something to say. But then I  found myself staring at a blank page until the screen went dark. So many thoughts swirling around in my mind but all refuse to take the shape of sentences, words or even letters.
Thinking that I had more to say reminded me of a favorite song by Pink Floyd. I could just type the words that someone else wrote & sing them as I do so but that seemed like a total ripoff so I abandoned that idea as well.
And then it occurred to me that mosquitoes are evil little sons of bitches because they have no compunction about gnawing on the tender flesh in the arch of my foot. I've decided that I truly despise mosquitoes. And I currently have a ravenous little blood sucking fiend hovering around my head, making tiny whirring noises in my ear. This is not making me any happier.
It is 3am & I'm getting tired. Would love to get a little sleep. Go away mosquito, foul minion of Hell. I'm done with you. That's all I've got for now.

Wolf Games: reprise

Okay so it's nearly 6 a.m. For the totality of last night, I had exactly one hour sleep. And then 2 hours later, I had another 10 minutes of sleep. Why? Shenanigans. Wolf games. And let me tell you something... I'm pretty effin' tired.
There is just one thing that I have to say. Apollo has lived with me for 2 weeks now now and in that time period, we have had our ups and downs. It hasn't been easy for either of us but it has been pretty rewarding at times.
I can understand how bored he is, being on that tether, and honestly I can't blame him. It has to be pretty awful to be tied up all the time. I offer to bring him into the house and most of the time he declines. This morning however, he was pretty keen on the idea.
I allow him off the leash for the time that he is indoors because I try to keep it something that he can see as positive and rewarding. He and Lavender chase each other around the room for a little while & that is all kinds of fun until he starts pooping everywhere.
Naturally, I wanted to put a stop to that so I opened up the door the small amount and called him to me. He managed to slip past me into the yard. That sent a bolt of panic through me as I recall the nightmare of two weeks ago. But I am very pleased to say that he allowed me to approach him & get him on tether again without going over the fence. I am exceedingly grateful.
He could have done so. Fairly sure he thought about it. But he didn't.  Thank you Apollo.  That means the world to me. <3

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